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From feeling guilt over picking one party over another to guilt from good old mom about how your life isn’t going right, guilt is just as much of a part of the holiday season as colder weather and twinkling lights.

But it doesn’t have to be that way! No matter how you suffered through the last weeks of last year, this year can be different. Here’s a step by step plan to stop guilt in its tracks and get rid of the holiday season struggle.

  1. Recognize the root.

    No matter what you’re feeling guilty about, there’s one major root cause – you feel like you’re not doing enough. Your social calendar fills up quickly, there’s a bunch of year end business to handle at work and to top it all off, you may come down with a seasonal cold to make it even more difficult to get it all done.Underneath that feeling of not doing enough is a belief that your presence isn’t enough. Know that whatever you are doing it is enough. Being you and being present with loved ones, friends and important people in your life is what matters most this time of year.

  2. Wise up to your own worthiness.

    If you feel obligated to do everything and be everywhere this holiday season, stop. Your feelings of obligation come from feelings of being unworthy. But you’re more than worthy. You’ve done a lot for others and yourself throughout the year. Celebrate yourself a little and remind yourself you’re worthy – preferably in a non-store bought way. Write down a short gratitude statement every morning. Make a list of things to feel excited about (instead of the dreaded to do list). Spend time with people who make you feel great instead of drained.

  3. Find the joy.

    As a culture, we look forward to the holiday season as a time of joy and celebration. But the prep work, increased time constraints, pressure at work, presents to buy, crowded public spaces and more can make it feel more like several weeks of slogging through chores. Find the joy by trimming your to do list – and reminding yourself that your presence is enough. The holidays aren’t a competition. Release the guilt over doing less, and concentrate on the joy and celebration aspects of this time of year.

Holidays with a side of guilt? No thanks! This year, get to the root of your feelings of guilt, remind yourself why you’re worthy and find the joy in everything instead.